I did not understand the term “open relationship”, I didn’t get the concept, did not see the need for and couldn’t fathom a reason why two people who have decided to be together as husband and wife would want to have other relationships with other people until the situation around August Alsina and Jada Pinkett came to light, I became interested.
I had to re-learn Understanding people’s choices and why it was important, so I had to learn, you never know what could come as salvation to you or could help you build what’s about to be broken
Let me explain if you’re wondering what it truly means.
In clear terms, it means one or both parties (husband and wife) are allowed and are able to have sexual partners. It is one in which two people in a relationship are not exclusive with one another meaning they can see other people or have other partners be it physical or sexual. Basically, it occur between two people in a primary relationship who have agreed to open up their relationship sexually.
People in open relationships have an agreement that having sex or emotional relationships with other people is OK. Plus, while cheating is considered unethical, open relationships when done correctly are ethical by nature.
The great thing is, once you’ve decided that you can include other people or lovers into your relationship, you can make it whatever you want. It’s up to the couple to decide what levels of involvement with secondary partners feels comfortable. Generally, the one rule is that all sluttery must be done ethically, safely, and with consent of all parties involved.
Let me state out reason why you might consider an open relationship:
- You both want to explore your sexuality with someone else
- Mismatched libido could be a considerable factor, they could both decided to find a match settle for an open relationship while still loving each other.
- One partner is hyper active and the other isn’t. Open relationship comes in handy to satisfy sexual desires.
- One partner has a particular kink or fantasy that they want to explore that the other has no interest in.
- Seeing (or hearing about) your partner have sex with someone else turns you on, or vice versa.
- You’re able to have different needs met with different people, all while being completely truthful and open with one another.
- It brings excitement, thrill, and sense of adventure your partner cannot give.
- An open relationship allows you to pursue other options while continuing to have the deep bond that you’ve created with one another.
- It’s simply one good reason not to get separated or divorced
- You can have it all. The commitment to your partner and freedom to do what you like.
Open relationship isn’t open or right for all couples, because it works for A does not mean it will work for B.
So what are the cons?
Let’s look at the downside of being in an open relationship
Your physical or emotional state of mind might be at risk
It might leave you vulnerable when you don’t get the attention and emotional involvement you need or days when you rely on your partner to make good health choices or safety or emotional detachment from their partner, you constantly have this fear they are not doing enough or may develop serious feelings for someone else, leaving you feeling emotionally unsupported and hurt.
Open relationship is based on honesty, communication and respect, it will be easy to develop the feeling of jealousy. You will feel threatened and intimidated by your partner’s partner every minute of the day which might affect your mental state of mind.
It isn’t a fix
Open relationship will not fix your already failing relationship except I that’s the only solution you both got.
If you are the jealous type, manipulative, dishonest and selfish it may not work for you, open relationship won’t fix a character flaw only you can do that. If you tend to get easily jealous, watching your partner being with someone else might drive you to the extreme, so that’s a no.
It isn’t going to fix a relationship with an unstable foundation, it will only open more wounds that will eventually lead to a collapsed foundation.
To be in a successful open relationship with your partner, you require
- Confront Your Insecurities
- Love Yourself
- Ground rules/practices
- Communication and trust
- Be Totally Open
- Emotional boundaries
- Physical and sexual boundaries
- Be Patient
- Stick With the Game Plan
- Scheduling Is Key
- Your partner is your priority
Be in an open relationship for the right reasons, it isn’t a license to cheat or move to that person you’ve secretly crushed on. Don’t force it, if one partner isn’t okay with something, do not push and try to make it happen. Do not turn to an open relationship if your relationship is having issues or if your partner is the only one who wants it.