This weather came at the perfect time when all we’re trying to do is stay home and staying safe, but there comes a time when all things come together for your good…one of it being sex!
Sex is one topic people shy away from and I wonder why since it is the most natural thing that involves a man and a woman hence the unsatisfied desires between both genders and their problem of not talking about it.
Knowing what your partner wants, what you want from them and making the experience in the bedroom mind-blowing is all about communication, timing and spontaneity.
The difference between a very great sex and an average one depend on the individual involved and the efforts he/she is putting into a mind blowing one not just great.
Great sex is knowing, understanding and loving your body.
It starts with Knowing, understanding and loving your body. Knowing and understanding it will help you determine what you like and what you don’t like, you your body will accept and what it won’t, where the pleasure will come from and where would be a waste of time, knowing your G-spot, knowing what brings your body that spark and the whole body anatomy.
How you feel about your body makes a big difference when it comes to allowing yourself to be vulnerable with sexual partners. Being confident about your body welcomes that vulnerability and spontaneity to do anything anywhere with your partner.
You have to note every little uniqueness you have, love it and understand it.
Great sex is connection
Is it possible to having something as wonderful as sex without a spark of connection? No!
When the connection is there it becomes a smooth affair, it opens the door to communication, letting go and staying connected sexually. Nothing seems hard anymore.
You experience the most pleasure when you both are having a smooth sailing because you stay connected to what bring you both pleasure, most times words aren’t just enough, you let the hands, lips, hips, vaginal and penis do the talking.
Your partner knows what to do to your body and with your body and you know how to respond to what he/she does, no feeling of insecurities because not only do you know and love your body you’ve communicated about your shortcomings.
Just relax, if the connection is tight the vaginal or penis will savor the moment.
Great sex is communication
Tell your partner what you want and what you do not like. If they’re doing something you like, say so rather than relying on ambiguous gestures or noises. And if it’s something you’re not into, communicate that or guide them in a new direction.
Communication does not mean dirty talks.
Suggest new things, don’t be mum when you enjoy or about to orgasm, give each other positive affirmation during sex and after to boost confidence. Yes, you’re allowed to laugh at each other and at the same give accolades.
Let go of the control
If you find it difficult to let go, you will always want to be in control which make it an “authoritative sexual experience or dominance”.
You’ll always want things done your way, anywhere and anytime you want. You’re overly conscious of what happens to you or your body and want things done your way, you judge yourself and your partner and you only go by the books instead of having that talk with your partner or what suits your partner by understanding their body and knowing what they want.
Great sex is spontaneous
Monotonous sex gets boring over time, I mean doing the same routine every day. Mix and spice things up with something new your partner might enjoy be it some teasing, a change in position, anything just go for it.
You could try new places maybe on the sofa, in the car or on the kitchen countertops and fix a time different from your daily routine, Try role-playing and be inventive, have fun
Otherwise erotic energy will naturally dissipate for most couples. Trying new things is the key to keeping the fire going.
Never forget to start with foreplay
Setting the mood for sex is a great was to start especially for women, it should start way before the sex begins; it is more like wetting the ground before planting.
You can start with small gesture, nice comment, gifts and communication are other ways to wet the ground before meeting up.
It’s a sensual experience
Sex isn’t a performance or some sort of numbers for a competition, not something you want to get done with to get a pass mark. It is a sensual experience to be enjoyed extremely by both parties (my next post will be on orgasms).
Sex is for pleasure which has to include communication, trust, eye contacts, fun, exploring and tuning into something more personal instead of being fixated on orgasms and Cumming as many would, avoid it. Being too focused on the end result doesn’t make you enjoy the process.
Explore each other bodies, have fun and be playful.
Have great sex not long sex
You should “pleasurised” satisfaction from sex. The longer time spent during sex does not guarantee good sex but as long as both people are satisfied, you’re doing great.
Focus on how much pleasure you and your partner are experiencing during any one session, not how often you’re physically hopping in bed.
Empathy during sex is underestimated; it is care and understanding your partner’s feelings and pleasure.
When you have this, drop the ego and the “I want it more feeling”, you’ll feel more connected, loving towards each other and sex becomes more interesting.
You have to make room for one another’s feelings to create something amazingly erotic.
It takes two people to have such great sex, two people to put in the work and effort…TWO.