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What makes you bad?

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Over the weekend, in the middle of a discussion with a friend he said, “I am a good boy but girls made me bad” this is someone that doesn’t smoke or drink.

My question was “what exactly do they do to you or make you do that’s bad?” “Well, the sex and find girls everywhere”

My question was, does engaging in sexual activity make you a bad person? Is the act bad or doing it with so many people or engaging with the wrong person?

I know morally and scriptural many things we engage in are wrong and makes us sinners but does it make you bad?

What makes a person bad?

I have read that according to the philosophy of Theravada Buddhism, a bad person is one who (physically, verbally, mentally) does bad actions constantly.

I asked my friend if smoking, drinking and partying would make me a bad person. He couldn’t respond because he admitted he was a good boy because he does not engage in said activity except sex. We know that stealing, murder etc are criminally, morally and spiritually wrong but what makes me and a bad person?

Have you asked yourself why you think you are a good or bad fellow? Because you give to the poor, your humility, your kindness, soft nature etc. does having all that entirely make you a good fellow? What about what goes on in your mind, what you wish you could or would do to that person who hurt or cheated you?

The following actions are bad actions according to Gotama Buddha.

-The threefold physically bad actions.

  • A certain one destroys living things without compassion. (so, if I don’t do this I am good? Yes, I think)
  • He takes what is not given (stealing, which is wrong according to law)
  • He misbehaves in sexuality
  • For his benefit, for another benefit, or for some small gain, he would tell lies with awareness.
  • He would slander. Hearing here, he would tell it elsewhere to make a split here. He disunites the united, is fond of telling words to disunite.
  • He would talk roughly, say words that are sharp and cursing, words with anger.
  • He would say frivolous, untimely, untruthful words, words that could not be treasured.

Good people may do these bad actions due to

  • Love, affection
  • Hate, anger
  • Lack of knowledge
  • Fear.

That goes to say that I commit such mistakes it makes me ‘ungood?’

I ask again, what makes me a good person? Does committing sin make me bad or a sinner? One thing I know is engaging in some activities doesn’t make me bad but a sinner in God’s eye.

When you hate, it makes you bad…agree?

Making people miserable makes you bad.

Exploitation of the weak.

Can we term dressing provocatively bad? Or the doer of said action a bad person? Does your appearance have a say in whether a person is bad or not?

What about revenge instead of waiting for karma? Bad or not?

Yes! Maltreatment, rudeness, being mean…bad!

A bad person is a deceiver. A deceiver is pretender, one who lies with words and actions to make you believe that something or someone (especially him) is not what it/he appears to be.

When we meet people we tend to form an opinion about them based on the first impressions, and that initial opinion takes such a stronghold in our minds, that it tends to be true for us for a long time, even if later on we see time and time again evidence to the contrary about the person.

A deceiver is a keen observant, and a meticulous, organized to a fault planner. Based on his observations of you he’ll figure out what is important to you, what will impress you, and what you’d need to see, hear, and experience to form an opinion about him or anything for that matter that is desirable and beneficial to him.

Many criminals fall into that category, because they have convince their victims that they are good, want the best for them, and with that gain their total trust. Their victims are so blinded by the smoke and mirrors that the criminals create (sometimes in a matter of minutes) that they are willing to to do whatever, go wherever the criminal asks them to do.

Deceivers. It is because of their ability to use their power of persuasion to do harm to others that they are bad from their core out.

I don’t like to believe there are bad people. I believe we all do bad things, and sometimes people become bad. But I like to believe we all start out basically good, with good intentions.

Things happen though which cause us to change.

With all this, it’s safe to say that most of those things we term as bad aren’t bad, they just don’t fit into those things we can do.

I saw this from a post

“I don’t consider anyone a bad person.

Here are 6 reasons why I don’t consider anyone to be a bad person.

  1. Subtle impermanence. The person who did something bad a moment ago ceased to exist in the next moment. Moments are really just a perpetual flux but make the point.
  2. People are not their faults and they are not their actions.
  3. People cannot be found when searched for in detail.
  4. Can I know self-awareness and mindfulness was functioning at that time? Nope.
  5. Have I found any proof of free will? Nope.
  6. Can I prove other minds exist? Nope.”

Sometimes I think about weird things like to justify some of my actions and sometimes I also don’t see anything as bad except of course those things we know that’s bad in our inner minds but we chose to turn blind eye. “Turning blind eye itself is bad”

What is good and bad to you?

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