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When your marriage doesn’t go as planned (Crossroads)

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The journey of a life-long relationship will not be totally free from glitches and hiccups that will cause setbacks, a re-think, and uncertainties but good skills and encouragement can help stand stronger during such times.

Relationships can be compared to traveling on a train. You just keep on moving. When you try to get off, it becomes difficult because the train has to get to its destination before you can disembark. While traveling, you see trees, houses, cities, as you leave them behind but the only thing that will be of much interest to you is who or what you are going to meet when you get off.

Actually, that is the truth. However, there are certain crossroads that will make you want to make decisions whether to disembark before your final destination or to continue till the end.

These five steps will help you in making your decisions faster:

  1. Have a destination

Before you set on a journey, you must have thought with or without your partner where you see yourselves in coming years. Though, relationships are unpredictable, but when you have a destination in mind, you will always want to do something to get there safe and sound. However, if you are on this journey already, think on how you both started. Think on the promises you both made for each other, think on the future. Have you done that? Now, match those thoughts together and let them motivate you to continue this journey.

  1. Get a map and now the road

If you are driving a car, you must have a clear vision of what the road looks like, and this will further help you to know where to turn, and where to stop. Your emotions are the roads that will lead you to your destination. If you are still thinking that your definition of love when you are still courting will be the same forever, you might be disappointed. This is because it can’t keep being what it is. You need to guard your emotions and stop blaming your partner for any misunderstanding. Communication matters a lot.

  1. Prepare your baggage

Once you are able to know the map and the ways in which you can evade some potholes, you then have reasons to leave some things behind of you to ease the journey. Here, you sort out those feelings, memories, hurts, conflicts, wishes, and fantasies that have graduated into infidelity, betrayal, anger or any other thing eating up your marriage.

  1. Trust the journey ahead

Marriage is like a fine wine; it gets better with time if you work at it.

You and your partner need to become emotionally available to work things out again. Put yourself in the shoes of your partner and feel whatever he or she is feeling. With that, you can trust yourselves.

  1. Give room for emotions

Every relationship needs intimacy, so you need to foster actions that bring the two of you closer together. Give room for physical intimacy, like touching, expressing affection, talking about your goals and business, and socially. Above all, let your partner know how important you are to one another.

 

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